First day at school

Well, hello blog! You've been neglected for sooo long. Actually, banyak benda menarik nak cerita. And I miss telling my story. Since, one of the main reason that I make a blog is to write freely and telling my story, so here is one.

Amna goinh to school!! Been thinking to enroll her to a class since August last year (which is a year before..hahha), so I keep on searching for the best school. Sekolah dekat dengan rumah semuanya mahal, tak mampu student(mak Amna) nak bayar. Lagipun, we want an Islamic based kindergarden. Others tu memang banyak la. Tapi kena pikir location wise and so on. My friend had send her daughter to that Iman ELC nearby. So, hearing from her, we decide to send Amna there, since I need to be at the lab as early as possibel. Ye la, dah second year kan, takkan nak memain lagi. At least, g awal boleh la banyak kerja sikit dapat siap kan. hahaha..

But, before that, during December, dah g sekolah and paid for her registration and so on. Tadika nowadays mahal kan. huhuhu..but it was include Nov's fee, so agak banyak jugak la. Be prepared for next year registration pulak. alahai, abah. hahhaa

happy lagi kat rumah

Her first day at school? We're late. Hahaa..and I really don't know if there were taklimat for parents ke apa. Sian kami. sampai-sampai je, ada teacher bring her inside. Mama and abah watch from afar. She was happy! ambai-lambai semua. Ok la. Nampak mula-mula tu macam diam, tak kenal kawan lagi. Tengok kawan main, dia pun main. Diam ja tak cakap. Tapi, kalau panggil, dia toleh and senyum lebarrrr. Guess, she was okay afterall! The entire day, asyik fikirkan Amna either she was okay or crying or not. Even when we bid goodbye, she seems okay. But deep down inside, I know that she's okay je. Awkward memula tapi lepas tu mesti dia okay ja. Oh lupa, before tu dia ada kena ada ntah kat dagu, lepas tu garu-garu, terus berdarah and jadi kudis. Berparut sampai sekarang, nasib baik dah kurang sikit. Tapi, tu la. Dalam gambar nampak macam ada apa je kat dagu dia tu. Haha

siap boleh peace lagi, kira okay la tu kan

So, it was 5pm. We go there and pick her up. The moment she saw us, she was crying!! Hahhaa..siap tanya kenapa mama tinggal Amna. Alahai, sian Amna. Balik tu, singgah jusco jap bagi dia bertenang. Beli roti boy kesukaan dia and rasanya, what she want, she will have that day! hahahaha...nasib baik tak mintak mahal-mahal. Second day, she a bit reluctant la, nangis sikit tapi okay ja nak g school.
But the third day, demam. Hahaha..so tak sampai hati nak bagi dia g sekolah. Tinggal la dia kat rumah ibu. Tapi, dah warning esok kena pergi sekolah. Yerla, kang tanak g dah lepas tu, lagi haru.

Overall, after that, she seem okay ja. Infact,sampai sekarang tak pernah lagi dia buat perangai tanak g sekolah. Sekali dua tu, ada la bila dia dah lama sangat kat rumah. Or when she fall sick, we let her stay at home. Yerla, baru 4 tahun. We're not planning to go hard on her, just that, hopefully she;ll gain much la kat sekolah. For us, bila Amna dah 4 tahun, nampak yang dia dah start nak belajar benda baru. I admit that, kalau kat rumah tu, mana sempat nak mengajar dia sangat. Kt rumah pengasuh kita pun faham, nak jaga budak lagi, nak ajar lagi, mesti la tak dapat sangat nak fokus kan. So, at least dah enroll sekolah tu boleh la dia jumpa kawan baru, experience new things. Sedikit sebanyak dapat jugak la kan.

first day at school vid

singgah jusco dulu

Dua beradik

Awal-awal dulu, orang selalu tanya. Kakak takde ke buli adik. And I will always answer, setakat ni belum lagi. Tetiba ja, dia cakap. Eh doa ka anak jadi macam tu. Hahaha.. Sebenarnya, I am the type yang realistik. Come on, mana ada siblings yang tak bergaduh kan. Lagipun, tengah membesar ni, dia belum faham concept sharing is caring or whatever. Lagipun, maybe Amna pun baru setahun lebih so dia pun taktau kot tu adik dia. Dah besar ni, lain pulak cerita kan.

Seronok jugak tau kadang-kadang bila tengok depa dua gaduh. Hahaha..kalau hal-hal kecik, biasa I'll let them sort out. Tapi kalau sampai bertepuk-tampar tu, maknya kena masuk campur la. Lagipun, erm takkan sampai besar u want ur kids lepaskan apa saja demi orang lain kan. I want them to know, sometimes they need to learn how to let it go or just protect themself. Pertahankan hak dia and learn to stand on their value.

Penat jugak jadi hakim ni. Selalunya, kami ni takkan pakai konsep yang besar kena mengalah. Kesian la kakak, asyik-asyik dia kena mengalah. We don't want her to grow up, to give up on everything. Konsepnya, sapa pegang/hak dia dulu, orang tu la yang lebih berhak. So, they have to take it or leave it or worst case, menangis berguling-guling (oh my boy). Ala dua ni pun pandai, kadang dah tengok adik/kakak punya lagi best, cepat-cepat dia pun nak sama.

suka tengok kucing

Dah besar ni, alhamdulillah dah boleh main sama-sama. Bahagia tau tengok depa dua. Bebunga-bunga hati mama. Hahahaha..Kadang nanti dengar Amna ajak adik main. Nanti adik cakap 'Jom". Haha comel gila. Penah sekali tu, Amna ajak Ammar tumpang basikal dia. Adik pulak mata tepaku tengok Upin-Ipin. Sekali bila adik naik, kakak dia turun sebab nak adjust tempat duduk. Lepas tu, adik terus pecut guna basikal dia. Menangis-nangis la kakak. Lawak gila. Hahaha..Dah la beriya dia ajak adik tumpang, sekali adik dia pecut tak tengok dah kakak dia. Time ni, memang bedekah gelak dengan husband. 

Ada jugak bad times bila gaduh-gaduh tu. Amna jenis takdak la dia tampar ke apa. Paling-paling pun, dia nangis kuat-kuat sambil marah adik. Lepas tu dia akan sebut 'bek' macam cerkah tu. Haha taktau la mana dia dapat. Tapi si kecik tu, suka tarik rambut. Haiii..takpun, dia ambik benda dia baling. Kalau kita marah, nanti dia macam nak tunjuk protest, terus angkat kerusi bagi terbalik. lepas tu, tengok reaksi kita. Mama tahannnn ja dalam hati tau dik. Lepas tu, boleh pulak dia gelak-gelak or buat taktau ja macam tadak perasaan.

Depa dua ni, macam siblings biasa la. Ada hari, main sama-sama 5minit, ada hari begaduhhh. Lepas tu, elok pulak main sama-sama. But I know, depa ni memang sayang la masing-masing. Kalau time kakak tidoq, adik dia akan p main sebelah kakak. Kalau adik tidoq, nanti kakak pulak cari-cari mana adik dia. Benda gaduh-gaduh ni biasa la. Masing-masing nak besar. Tak payah la nak tension sangat kan. Kadang-kadang, kalau tengok anak yang baik saja tu, rasa macam nak p mintak tips pulak. Haha...

Her said..

Bila anak dah pandai cakap ni,seronok nak melayan. Kadang rasa lawak sangat sebab macam dah pandai dah buat ayat, tunjuk yang mana dia nak. Dah pandai nak pilih-pilih. But we need to alert always takut senang pulak dia terpengaruh dengan negative things.

Amna ni, kalau dia susah nak buat sesuatu, dia mesti akan nangis dan panggil orang suruh tolong. Tapi biasa, I would tell her to put more efforts untuk galakkan dia buat sendiri. Tadi, dia nak tarik beg keluar, lepus tu stuck. "'maa, tak boleh la maa..apa benda ni'.kahkahkah..lawak sangat sebab dia nangis-nangis sambil cakap tu.

She loves to sing. kalau dalam kereta, dia akan nyanyi lagu twinkle twinkle or lagu mama fingers la. Bila dah pandai cakap ni, kita suruh tidor pun, dia cakap taknak. Adik nak tidor tapi boleh pulak dia duk nyanyi semua lagu. Geram mak sebab adik dia pun sibuk nak tepuk tangan, takmau tidoq. Lepas tu nanti, tau-tau, dah tidoq. haha..Sebenaqnya nak tegelak tengok gelagat dia. Macam-macam kerenah skrang ni. So nak ingatkan dia, i would tell it here, nanti boleh baca balik.hehe

My sweet amna

I was having a period cramp when suddenly my girl approach me

M:kakak, perut mama sakit

A:mama sakit perut ke? *while rubbing my stomach

A:Erm sayang mama..while give me a kiss

Grab my neck and give me another kiss

Ulang-ulang sampai 4x 😭😭

Oh kakak. Mama is melting..

Tips on Weaning off the big girl

15/5/2015 The day that I decided to wean her off.

Today is the second week that I trained Amna to stop breastfeeding. At the age of 2 years and a month, finally, she stop glued to mama. But I miss staring in her eyes,I miss talking to her and I miss hearing her say 'sedap mama'. Oh Lord,  I miss her so much! she even name it as 'dude'.

my girl

When I was pregnant with Ammar, I ignore those voice that want me to stop bf her. She was only 7 months backthen. And I don't have any complication to restrict me from giving her breastmilk. Although, my supply went down, it doesn't stop her from finding her comfort zone. By the way, I'm not exclusively breastfeed her. But she constantly glued to her 'dude'.When her baby brother arrive, she get more milk supply which impossible to stop her. I once try to stop her from bf , she cry her lung out. But then, I gave in because I miss her so much. Failed miserable.


I google so many tips to weaning off a baby. It required : Strong heart. Something that I lack off. Well, how could you say no to your baby, right.
So, on that Friday night, it came in an instant. I make a decision to stop her no matter what. Talk about determination.

The first night, she wakes up and asked for 'dude'. I said, she already a big girl and asked her to sleep back. She cried of course. I hold her, hug and tell her that Mama loves her so much. In a second, she was calm down and sleep on my shoulder. She sleep through the night but again wakes up at dawn, which not so hard to put her to sleep again. I felt a bit relieve. On Saturday morning, she asked but I constantly said, she is a big girl already. Husband was really helpful but sometimes, ada jugak la dia mengalah. Haha.

I was so pissed off when he wanted to give up and asked me to continue bf her when she was out of control. I said, he will have to be responsible if he refuse to support me because all my hard effort was wasted. He then agree. There are times when she miss it, mostly when she wanted to sleep. During day, she played and eat, and played with her abah. I can see that, she turn from her comfort zone by eating so much and watched cartoon. For the time being, I'll let her watched cartoon more than her normal time.

The most heartbreaking scene for now is on the second night, she wailed her hand while saying 'jangan mama, jangan' and cry bucket. While I was constantly telling her she is a big girl, she kept repeated that she is a big girl like a mantra and mumbling in her language. It was so hard to stay stronger when you just want to gave in in any minute. The thing that stop me is, she is a big girl and I'm so tired tandem them. But it was harder on her because she saw her baby brother happily sucking while she had to stop. Like you has to stop on something that you were really fond but seeing it constantly on your face.

By the third day, it turns out okay but it was not ok for me. After fetching them from their babysitter's house, she whispered in a naughty voice, asking for her 'dude'. At that time, I was like giving up. She was mesmerized, and look at me in confusion. Haha..But then, I stop and played with her. There are time when she came and asked, but when I say no, she just continue playing and don't mind either.

So the tips to stop this big girl is constantly/repeating saying she is a big girl. Don't scream, don't push, don't mad at her. But saying mama love her so much, indeed calm her. And it takes cooperation and great effort from the husband. I choose the weekend, because he will be home all the times. So when she was coming for her 'dude', my husband will distract her and give her milk, played with her. Most important, he will soother her to sleep. Since then, she was okay. She can survive. It was no guarantee that she'll forget but I can see an improvement in her. it may takes longer times because she saw her brother latch all the times but Alhamdulillah. I prayed that Allah will grant Amna patience and make her stronger each day. Not for the my sake but for her. Mama can't stand watching you cry, baby.

Cerita Amna Hafiya

Harini rasa nak cerita pasal Amna la. Lagi 4 bulan, cukup la umur Amna Hafiya 2 tahun. Amna ni memang manja sangat lelagi dengan abah dia. Kalau abah dia tinggal sekejap, menangis macam kena pukul. Haritu, keluar rumah sama-sama sebab husband meeting pkl 10. Sekali, dia tengok abahnya tak masuk kereta sama-sama, menangis siap pukul-pukul tingkap. Mama dah tak laku.

Bila anak dah besar, rasa macam sekejap je. Amna jenis yang tak boleh paksa ke hapa. Tambah kalau suruh sayang. Ada hari dia kasi la cium sikit tapi kebanyakkan hari, takdenya. Melainkan, dia tahu dia buat salah, kena marah dengan mama. Tetiba ja peluk, sambil muahhhh. Hahaha..sejuk hati mak. Terus tak sampai hati nak marah. Ini memang taktik dia.

Kalau ajar cakap pun, selalunya dia pandang ja. Nanti tetiba dia ulang balik apa yang kita ajar. Dulu favourite dia Upin-Ipin. Hari-hari mintak nak tengok. Kena la restrict jugak. Mana boleh nak mengadap phone/tv je kan. So sekarang macam dah kurang sikit. Kadang on kan dvd bagi tengok frozen. Sebab mama nak buat house chores. At least, bila ada song ke hapa, sekejap tu boleh la dia layan. lepas tu sambung keluarkan periuk belanga. And yang kelakar sebab dia panggil Elsa tu Aisha. haha..dah jadi nama melayu.

Rambut Amna dah panjang. Mamanya nakk sangat buat pesyen-pesyen rambut. Ada baby girl, nak jugak bagi kiut-kiut kan. Haaaa tapi, kalau letak je atas kepala dia, nanti dia cabut. Huhu..mama dah teringin nak beli headband lelawa. Tapi pasrah jerla. Tunggu nanti dah besar sikit la kot. So now, kena senyap-senyap pakaikan klip rambut. Bertahan la lama sikit.

Since dah ada adik ni, awal-awal dulu takde la dia main sangat dengan adik. agaknya dia pun taktau dia ada adik. Hehe..baru-baru ni aje panggil adik sambil cium-cium. Kadang mama tinggal Amna and adik dalam bilik. lepas tu mengendap nak tengok Amna buat apa. Alhamdulillah tak penah pulak dia pukul senyap-senyap ke apa. Dia cium ja adik sambil pegang-pegang kepala adik dia. Adik dia memang suka ngan kakak. Kalau dengar suara kakak diam ja kadang dia pun macam nak join main dengan kakak. haha..

Semalam bawa checkup Ammar. Sebab pergi sorang so tinggal la Amna rumah pengasuh dia. Dah tengah hari rasa malas pulak nak masuk lab. Bedua la dengan Ammar kat rumah sambil tunggu orang Astro datang betulkan piring tu. Dah petang ambil kakaknya. Masuk dalam kereta ja, terus panggil adik. Sambil main cak-cak. Adik dia siap ketawa bedekah-dekah. Lega hati mama. Rindu jugak la dengan adik dia.

Last 3 weeks rasanya, time maqrib. Hujan lebat kat luar. Amna tengah tengok channel oasis tu. Tetiba skrin jadi warna hitam. Menangis lari laju-laju pegang kaki apaknya. Start from that day, asik cakap takut ja. Tak pernah dah nak tengok tv kat depan or main sorang-sorang. Minum susu pun nak orang teman. Stress tau kadang-kadang. Nak mandi pun dia menjerit-jerit sambil ketuk pintu. Nak masak asik nak main dekat kaki mama.

But after that, husband jumpa dengan jiran depan rumah, katanya anak dia kena minyak dagu. And ada la makhluk halus yang kacau anak perempuan dia. Dengar cerita tu, terus kitaorang pun takut. Entah Amna ni nampak something tak. Dah la pulak tu. Ada hari dia cakap takut sambil pandang atas. Seram mama time maqrib-maqrib. Nak biar dia main sorang pun tak berani sebab macam kesian pulak dekat dia. Nasib duduk rumah kecik ja. Atleast, suami balik lambat takde la takut sangat. Tapi berharap la fasa takut dia ni cepat berlalu. kesian dia and kesian kami jugak. Sebab memang tak boleh langsung, langsung kena tinggal. Penat emosi kekadang menahan sabar. huhu..

Her five months

1 months

banyak tidur dari berjaga. and she smile in her sleep. macam best tengok anak tidur sambil senyum. sometimes menangis tiba-tiba. Luckily, Amna jenis yang tak berjaga malam. hurm, macam perangai mak dia sangat, tak suka stay up malam. She wake up 2 to 3 times for bf. Tapi susah betul nak poo-poo. But they said it was normal for bf babies.

2 months

she can smile socially. time tidur pun tak berubah but takde la macam baby kena jaundice dulu.asik tidur je sampaikan main-main pipi pun still tidur. 

first time senyum bila mama panggil nama

3 months

I caught her roll over but it was mainly because tidur atas bantal karipap. pusing cari mama takde so that, she can roll over. But, after that susah la nak tengok dia pusing meniarap. hehe..she smile widely when she see me. She love to make a bubble. Habis basah baju. Kena pakai bib la. Tapi dia suka pulak tarik bib tu maybe sebab ada plastic, she love dengar bunyi plastik. love to eat her hand. Cium je bau masam.kahkah.. 

4 months

finally, she can roll over a week before entering 5 months. Haha.. mama was so glad that she finally showing her skill. We were eating a breafast at my sister's house when suddenly I caught her lying on her stomach. what a surprise. I even ask her to show again. haha.. but she decide to keep it to herself.
Everyday tengok je perangai dia sebab dah gian nak meniarap agaknya. Cuba-cuba sampai la berjaya.Oh Amna, mama and abah is so proud of you. haha..macam ni la bila dah jadi mak. anak pandai sikit pun dah bangga, terharu semua. sob sob. 

5 months

she master the art of rolling over. dah pandai nak'kisar tepung'. haha..dari utara sampai la barat semua. she became a pro. kalau dengar je dia bunyi hok hek, terus kena datang. sebab biasanya dia dah pusing meniarap cari mama. and first time kena tinggal dengan maktok sebab mama kena drive pergi school. She behave. Maktok kata takde masalah. siap minum susu sampai 7 auns. Padahal kat rumah tak pernah pulak minum banyak macam tu and jarang boleh tidur tanpa mama. good job baby. First time tinggal anak sampai 6 jam, hurm im no that worry. cuma asyik teringat la. maybe sebab i know that she is in good hand. oh she bable a lot. kuat menjerit.  and dah start pilih her familiar faces. If not, she will start crying out loud.

Dah pandai menjulur. This one, mama tak sempat tengok her first move. Maktok tengah take pict then ternampak she move herself to pick up a toy. I was a bit frustated. Because I want to be the first one to witness that. Haha..over but yes, maybe semua working mama pun rasa macam tu kot. And she surprise me that afternoon. I was taking her video when suddenly, dia menjulur ke depan. what a proud mama i am. haha..riuh okay bagitau husband. kahkahkah.after a week baru riuh pasal anak dah pandai pusing, dia pandai meniarap pun lagi la nak riuh kan. hehe.. typical mama. 

Dear Amna Hafiya,

no matter what you were our precious.

Semoga membesar dengan sihat.